


Saving Him

by that_one_writer_girl



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, BokuAkaKuroKen Week, Bokuto Koutarou-centric, Deppression, Gay, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, dark themes, groundhog day theme
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_one_writer_girl/pseuds/that_one_writer_girl
Summary: Bokuto relives the same day over and over. He’s not sure when the loop will end. All he knows is that everyday, he has to at least try to save Akaashi. To try, over and over. Until it works.Except, suddenly new feelings surface for a certain captain and bleached haired boy.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou & Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Kozume Kenma, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 22
Kudos: 23





	1. Prologue

It’s Friday. 

Bokuto loves Fridays, school ends early, there’s a short practice, and then Akaashi comes over. 

He hops out of bed, and quickly gets changed. 

“Koutarou! Don’t you run around so much!” his mother cries out, but the bouncing boy can’t bring himself to care.

Akaashi will be here soon. 

He rushes down the stairs, scoffing down his breakfast, before rushing out the door. 

He loves days like these, where he can jog to meet Akaashi by the bridge. 

It’s a chilly morning, but Bokuto can’t bring himself to mind. 

He gets to see Akaashi.

His parents call him a lovesick puppy. 

Maybe he is. 

Akaashi is the light of his life. 

He takes care of him when everything falls apart, he’s the only one who can handle Bokuto’s emo modes. His excitement. His clinginess.

Akaashi and him are made for one another. 

Bokuto likes to think they’re soulmates.

He’s loved Akaashi for as long as he can remember, he just never had the guts to say it. 

_Soon. He’ll tell him soon._

When Bokuto arrives at the bridge, Akaashi is sitting on the railing.

”Hey?” Bokuto whispers, and Akaashi offers him a smile. 

A broken smile. 

“Come over here,” Bokuto says, reaching for him. 

He’s never seen Akaashi like this. 

Tears are running down his face. He’s not dressed for school, he’s in his volleyball clothes.

Like he’s been here all night. 

“What’s going on?” Bokuto asks.

Akaashi jumps.

Bokuto screams.

The world stops as Akaashi falls, before he hits the water. 

Bokuto stands there frozen. 

Akaashi never comes back up to the surface. 

Bokuto screams, cries, screams some more.

Eventually he calls the coastguard. The river is shallow. 

So shallow.

It begins to rain, and they find Akaashi’s body two hours later.

Bokuto never goes to school that day.

A cop drives him home and he falls into his mother’s arms sobbing. 

He can feels her tears as the officer explains to her what happened.

_Akaashi._

_Akaashi._

_Akaashi._

His father comes over, and helps him to his room. Laying him down on his bed.

Bokuto falls asleep to the picture of Akaashi falling. 


	2. Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto has a realization.

Bokuto wakes up with a start, his alarm blaring. 

He takes a breath, before it all comes back.

_Akaashi._

_The bridge._

_The jump._

Tears begin to fall, and Bokuto’s mother starts banging on his door.

”Koutarou! Get up! You have school,” she shouts. 

Wouldn’t she let him skip? His best friend just died after all. He needs time.

“What?” he calls back, and she swings the door open, her black hair swishing behind her.

”Akaashi is probably waiting for you! Up!” she says, walking out. 

Bokuto scrambles to grab his phone.

It’s Friday. Friday the 15th. 

Wasn't yesterday Friday? 

_It has to be a nightmare._

Bokuto’s mind is swarming as he gets ready. 

_Akaashi’s dead._

_No he’s not._

_But it felt so real._

He slowly pulls on his clothes, skipping breakfast, and ignoring his mind as he walks out the door. 

He feels worry building in his stomach. 

Bokuto breaks out into a run. 

There’s no way-

But there he is. Akaashi sitting on the bridge, pushing himself off.

Bokuto can’t even get a word out before his best friend is submerged in the water. 

Bokuto turns on his heels and walks the other way.

He makes it to a park and shoves his palms into his eyes. 

_What is this? Groundhog day?_

Bokuto’s eyes shoot open. 

He may be stupid, but maybe-

No. It’s still a dream, it’s all a dream.

He punches a tree, his knuckles come back bloodied. 

“It’s not a dream,” he mutters to himself.

But this was not groundhog day. The guy in groundhog day was trying to get with a girl- Akaashi just kept dyeing. Groundhog day is fiction! This is his life. 

Maybe, Bokuto’s going crazy. 

_It’s the most probable explanation._

* * *

When he gets home two hours later, his mother is sobbing on the couch.

”Sweetheart, come sit,” she whispers. 

_He’s dead, that’s why she’s crying._

Bokuto takes a seat anyways.

”It’s about Akaashi. Honey, he’s passed away,” she states.

Bokuto knows he should’ve expected it, he cried all yesterday (today?) over it. 

Yet, he sobs anyways. 

He’s not sure why this is happening, why the world is forcing him to relive this again. 

Bokuto just wants Akaashi. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slow update! school is kicking my ass lol


	3. Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto watches the movie Groundhog Day.

Bokuto is positive he fell asleep on the couch, yet he wakes up in his bed.

_Someone must’ve carried me._

Yet, he isn’t stiff. His eyes aren’t puffy from crying. He grabs his phone and quickly checks the date.

Friday the 15th.

Tears well up in his eyes, and he buries himself under the covers.

”Koutarou-“ his mom yells bursting in, but quickly quiets. “Are you alright?”

”Can I stay home, I don’t feel well?” Bokuto whispers, and she nods, running a hand through his hair. 

She leaves after a few minutes, promising to make him soup after she’s back from work, and that his father is working from home if he needs anything. 

Once she’s gone, Bokuto texts Akaashi. Multiple times.

**Me: Akaashi? I’m not coming to school.**

**Me: Hello?**

**Me: I love you.**

They go unread, and Bokuto sobs, because he knows.

Akaashi must already be dead. 

_Its happening. It’s fucking groundhog day._

Bokuto closes his eyes, letting them rest. 

He needs to think, because maybe he isn’t going crazy. He has to get out of this.

_The movie._

Bokuto sits up, quickly pulling up the end of the movie on his phone. 

After replaying it several times, he comes to a conclusion. 

_Something has to change._

The main character had to become a better person, to earn the love of the girl. 

Maybe Bokuto doesn’t have to earn Akaashi’s love. Simply keep him alive. 

Only a few minutes later, his mother walks in tears in her eyes. 

_I guess I’ve been watching this for a while._

”Honey-“ 

Bokuto tunes her out. 

He’s dead, he gets it. 

He just needs to figure out how to keep Akaashi alive. 

How hard can it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everything in italic is Bokuto’s thoughts just btw! Sorry, i should’ve added that earlier!


	4. Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto makes it to the bridge before Akaashi can even think about pushing himself off the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go againnnn

As soon as Bokuto’s alarm goes off, he’s running downstairs and out the front door.

He doesn’t bother changing. He needs to get to Akaashi, before he-

Bokuto rushes to the bridge, where his best friend is sat. 

The taller doesn’t say a word, simply grabs Akaashi by the collar and pulls him away from the ledge, into his arms.

”No,” Bokuto whispers.

Akaashi’s eyes fill with tears.

”Bokuto-san? What are you doing?” he whispers, and Bokuto holds him tighter.

_You can’t run this time._

”I love you. I’m not watching you die,” Bokuto whispers, and Akaashi sobs.

”I wasn’t going to-“

”You fucking were! You were going to leave me!” Bokuto screams, flipping Akaashi around to look at him.

The other boy’s eyes are so full of fear, so full of hurt. 

Bokuto can’t bring himself to feel guilty. 

He won’t be left behind by him again. 

He refuses to watch him die again.

”Can you bring me home?” Akaashi whispers, and Bokuto nods. 

He takes Akaashi’s hand, his cheeks turning a rosy pink, before leading the way to the Akaashi household. 

“I love you,” Bokuto blurts.

Akaashi stops in his tracks, turning to look at him.

”I love you too,” the younger whimpers.

Bokuto cups his face in his hands. 

_This is not how he pictured this going._

He pulls Akaashi in, letting his lips graze the other’s, before going in for a hungry kiss.

_He’s alive. Keep him alive._

Bokuto hopes this is what Akaashi meant, but by the way the other boy is moving with him- it seems like it might be.

He pulls away, leaning their foreheads together. 

“I love you,” Bokuto practically sobs.

Akaashi smiles, and they continue walking.

Bokuto wants to ask him why, but he restrains himself.

He can ask him tomorrow. This should be over anyways, according to the movie.

They reach Akaashi’s house, and the younger pecks him goodbye before disappearing into the home.

Bokuto can’t keep himself from smiling.

* * *

”Bokuto, honey, we need to talk,” his mother whispers.

It’s been hours. Akaashi and him have been talking over messages for hours-

“Akaashi,” Bokuto whispers, and she nods.

Bokuto screams, punching a fist through the living room wall. 

It was supposed to be okay. 

They kissed! He saved him!

”He’s passed honey, I’m sorry. His mother found him-“ 

_So this means nothing to him. I mean nothing._

Bokuto screams, not in agony but in anger.

Fuck Akaashi for doing this over and over.

Fuck the universe for making him live it over and over.

_Maybe I’ll never get my happy ending._


	5. Day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi isn’t at the bridge.

Bokuto checks his phone as soon as he wakes up.

_Yep, still stuck in Friday the 15th._

He groans, rolling over, and shoving his face into his pillow.

After Akaashi died, again, Bokuto decided that it was time to quit. 

Maybe he was supposed to let Akaashi work through this on his own. 

_Probably not._

But it was worth a try. 

Bokuto gets ready almost sluggishly, a hundred thoughts running through his head. 

_Fuck, I can’t just let him die._

He grabs his bag and runs out the door. As soon as he makes it to the bridge, his heart stops. 

Akaashi was nowhere in sight.

_I’m too late._

Bokuto holds back tears as he trudges his way to school.

They didn’t have morning practice today, so he wouldn’t get the questioning looks when he came in looking like someone had just died.

_Someone has._

He pushes through the front doors, and the his breathing comes to a stop.

Akaashi is standing with Kohona, by the latter’s locker.

Something changed. 

Akaashi never went to the bridge. 

“Bokuto-san!” Akaashi calls, waving him over.

_It’s over. It’s finally over._

Bokuto smiles and throws an arm around his friend.

He smells like cedar and vanilla.

Akaashi. 

* * *

Two hours after he gets home, his mother has tears in his eyes.

Bokuto wants to scream. 

He came to school! What changed?

He lets her tell him what happened, before making his way up to his room. 

Akaashi is trying to leave their world, and Bokuto can’t seem to wrap his head around why. Or how to stop him. 

All he knows is that something changed, because Akaashi wasn’t at the bridge.

_He wasn’t so sure it was a good idea to die._

Bokuto smiles despite himself.

This means there’s a chance. A chance he can make it to the 16th with Akaashi. 

_It changed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooo here we goooo


	6. Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto calls Kuroo. An unexpected development is discovered.

Bokuto slams his hand down on his alarm. 

He needs a plan. He can’t keep doing this. Trying to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, over, and over is futile. 

He needs help, no matter how crazy he’s going to sound.

He grabs his phone, and presses call.

His hand shakes as he puts the device to his ear.

_”Bro, it’s early. I have to find Kenma-“_

Kuroo’s familiar voice flows through the line, and Bokuto lets out a sigh of relief.

Bokuto may not be the smartest, but his best friend is. 

“Just wait, I need to talk to you. Something is happening, and I need you to promise to listen before you think I’m crazy.”

_”I promise.”_

Bokuto takes a few shaky breaths, repressing the urge to sob. 

“I’m stuck in a loop. I wake up and it’s always the fifteenth. The world won’t move forward, and Akaashi keeps dyeing,” Bokuto manages to get out. 

There’s a long silence on the other side of the line, before Bokuto hears a loud sob. 

Kuroo sounds broken. 

Bokuto expected Kuroo to say he should go to a doctor, that this isn’t normal. Or to say that it must’ve been a bad dream.

He certainly didn’t expect his best friend to cry. 

“Bro! Please don’t cry, I’m really alright-“

 _”Me too,”_ Kuroo sobs.

The world seems to freeze. 

The hairs on Bokuto’s arms stand up, and a lump forms in his throat.

There’s no way he could mean-

“What do you mean?” Bokuto whispers, sitting up.

_”I keep waking up and it’s the fifteenth. Everyday, Kenma is dead. Before I can even get to school, he’s gone. Then it starts again. I wake up, and it’s the same day as before.”_

Bokuto lets out a cry of confusion. 

It isn’t possible. 

_It can’t be._

He wishes Kuroo had simply told him he was crazy. 

“You’re telling me we’re both in a loop where Kenma and Akaashi keep dyeing?” Bokuto squeaks.

He feels himself start to spiral. 

_“Does Akaashi try to kill himself?”_

Bokuto’s silence is enough of a confirmation for Kuroo. He hangs up with a: “On my way.” 

Bokuto stares at the ceiling, telling his mom he doesn’t feel well, before curling back up under his covers. 

What does this mean? 

Before he can query further, Kuroo is rushing through his bedroom door and into his arms.

Bokuto has never held someone so tight.

He isn’t alone anymore.

”I think they’re connected,” Kuroo mutters.

Bokuto runs a hand through his best friend’s bedhead, before sighing. 

“I think maybe they keep trying for the same reason.” 

_Something is killing them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so sorry for such a late update! i’ll try to get them out faster


	7. Day 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo and Bokuto argue, and then the unexpected happens.

They wasted an entire day, more like two, laying in bed. Kuroo always woke up in his own bed, but the next day came straight to Bokuto.

Bokuto isn’t sure when his confident best friend became so affectionate, and it makes his stomach do somersaults. 

“Today, we have to stop them,” Kuroo says, bursting through Bokuto’s door.

It’s the eighth day of their life on repeat. It feels like it’s been much longer. It feels like _forever._

”I hate them,” Bokuto blurts, pulling his covers over his face.

Kuroo is suddenly straddling him, pulling the blankets away. 

“You love them. You love _him,_ don’t you?” Kuroo asks, almost accusatory. 

Bokuto bursts into tears, fat drops rolling down his cheeks and onto his pillow. 

It’s all too much for him. 

Kuroo being here, so close to him. Akaashi and Kenma being so far, yet so close. 

“It’s not like you don’t love Kenma!” Bokuto screams, attempting to shove Kuroo away.

Bokuto may be stronger, but Kuroo is stubborn. 

He won’t budge. 

“I do. I love Kenma, but at least I admit it! You’re torturing Akaashi!” Kuroo yells, shoving Bokuto’s shoulder.

Bokuto cries. Loud, wet sobs. 

“Leave me alone! Leave me alone!” Bokuto screams. 

It pierces the silence in the room like a knife, and Kuroo’s face turns from anger to shock.

”Bo-“

Bokuto can’t breath.

Akaashi. Kenma. Kuroo. 

He can’t. He can’t have this. 

He can’t tell Akaashi.

He can’t tell Kuroo he makes his stomach do somersaults.

He can’t stop looking at pictures of Kenma, when Kuroo naps. 

They rule his thoughts. 

Bokuto doesn’t understand why this is happening, or how. 

All he knows is he can’t breath. 

“Bo, hey, I’m sorry,” Kuroo whispers, shoving his face into the crook of Bokuto’s neck. 

He smells like summer. Hints of flowers, of oak, and rain. 

Bokuto breaths him in like he’s air. 

“It’s too much,” he whispers.

”I know.” 

Kuroo looks up at him, tears in his own eyes. 

Bokuto’s body reacts on its own, and he kisses him.

Kuroo’s lips are much softer than he ever expected. He tastes like vanilla and hints of mint. 

At first Kuroo is frozen, before suddenly he’s moving with Bokuto. 

A pair of strong hands are in Bokuto’s hair, and he latches onto Kuroo’s waist.

When finally, they’re forced away from each other to breath- a question hangs in the air.

_What did that mean?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i skipped day 7 for the sake of speeding this up a bit. anyways i hope you like this strange but sweet turn of events.


	8. Day 9 Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo discovers a letter.

Bokuto slams his hand down on his alarm. Kuroo practically ran out of his house after the kiss. 

Not like Bokuto expected anything different. 

Yet, when the other boy bursts through his door, once again, he can’t contain his shock. 

“I’ve figured it out!” Kuroo practically screams, waving around a notebook. 

Bokuto takes in a sharp inhale. 

“What do you mean?” Bokuto whispers.

Kuroo sits down on Bokuto’s bed, snatching up his hand. 

“My alarm is set earlier than yours, and while Kenma was still sleeping, I went into his room and sort of snooped around.”

Bokuto slaps a hand over his mouth and Kuroo laughs.

”Relax! This will help!” Kuroo says, opening the notebook.

In Kenma’s neat handwriting is a letter.

”We can’t read this!” Bokuto exclaims, and Kuroo runs a hand through his untamed hair. 

“We don’t have a choice, plus I already read it,” Kuroo mutters sheepishly.

Bokuto sighs, before reading it for himself.

**_Dear God,_ **

**_I’m not sure why you chose to torture me like this. I thought it would always be Kuroo, he would always be my person. It’s still true, but you had to make it messier. You decided to deal me the worst hand. I wish you hadn’t, because it can never be true. Kuroo will leave me behind if he ever finds this. Yet, I decided to write it out, because I’m planning on ditching the world for the heavens anyways._ **

**_Kuroo, I love him, I really do. Then there’s Bokuto, confident, strong, Bokuto. He makes my heart fucking whirl. Yet, it gets worse. Akaashi. Akaashi makes me feel more like a person, more like me. They all offer me different things, I don’t want to pick._ **

**_I don’t have much of a choice, do I? I know Kuroo will find this eventually, and lose his mind. Hopefully, I’ll be long gone._ **

**_I don’t want to choose one. I want them all, and I hate myself for it._ **

**_I needed to write it down, and you were the only person who I don’t think will judge me. So choose for me. Please, because I’m out of options. Change my fate, or I will._ **

**_-K_ **

Bokuto rereads it three times, before looking back up at Kuroo.

The letter is a mess of words and feelings. It’s overwhelming. He wasn’t aware Kenma had it in him to practically word vomit on paper. 

”This means that he loves us all?” Bokuto whispers, tears gathering in his eyes.

It seems like he cries a lot more when the world is on loop.

”And I think Akaashi might love us all too.” 

Bokuto thinks- he knows he does. 

Just like Kenma and Akaashi, he wants them all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well- i’m not sure what happened but this is the plot now. i’m a multishipper lmao


	9. Day 9 Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo and Bokuto have some strong words with Akaashi and Kenma.

“Up!” Kuroo says, pulling Bokuto to his feet.

Bokuto quickly dressed, ignoring Kuroo’s lingering looks.

There’s no time for whatever they have going on, they have to get to Kenma and Akaashi. 

“Bring him to my house, I’ll get Kenma.”

With that, Kuroo is gone. 

Bokuto takes a deep breath. 

He refuses to have to live another day of Akaashi dyeing, or Kenma for that matter. 

Bokuto rushes downstairs, ignoring his mom, throwing on his shoes, before sprinting out his door.

His feet hit the concrete hard as he runs, praying Akaashi isn’t at the bridge. 

He can’t save him, not if he doesn’t give him the chance. 

He makes it to school, throwing the door open. 

Akaashi stands next to his locker talking to Kohona.

Bokuto doesn’t give it a second thought as he grabs the younger’s wrist, and drags him back out the door.

”Bokuto-san!” Akaashi cries out, but Bokuto ignores him.

He forces Akaashi to run with him, all the way to Kuroo’s house. 

Sweat drips down his forehead, but he could care less. 

He needs to save him. He doesn’t have a choice. 

It feels like his last chance. 

They stand in front of the Kuroo household, and Akaashi raises an eyebrow at him. 

“Wait,” is all Bokuto says.

Only a few minutes later, Kenma and Kuroo are running towards them, Kenma being dragged along more than anything. 

“What the actual fuck!?” Kenma yells, catching his breath. 

Kuroo stands, arms crossed, in front of the other three. 

“Stop trying to kill yourselves!” he screams.

Akaashi and Kenma share a look, before turning to Bokuto.

”Kuroo- how dumb are you?” Bokuto whines, rubbing his face. 

“I can’t do this anymore! I know, Kenma! I know you love them!” Kuroo screams, as tears gather in the bleached haired boy’s eyes. 

Bokuto pales, looking back and forth between the two. 

Kuroo looks on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and Kenma is already crying. 

“It’s not my fault!” Kenma screams, tears streaming down his face.

_Even when he cries he’s pretty._

Bokuto blanches at the thought, shaking it from his head. This is not the time.

”What’s happening?” Akaashi asks, as calm as ever. 

That sends Bokuto into a fit of rage.

”As if you don’t have the same problem! Stop pretending to be fine, I know you’re in the same boat!” Bokuto yells, grabbing Akaashi’s arm.

“Bokuto-san, wait-“

”No! You love them! And yet, you were planning on leaving us all!” Bokuto screams, grabbing at his own hair. 

“You’re both horrible!” Kenma yells, and Kuroo sinks to his knees, covering his face with his hands. 

“No. We aren’t, we just care,” Kuroo sobs.

”Not the way I want,” Kenma and Akaashi says simultaneously.

They stare at each other in shock, and Bokuto has the urge to laugh. 

At least none of them knew how anyone else felt. 

“See, you’re both dumb,” Kuroo mutters, pushing himself into a sitting position.

The other three sit down with him, on the cool concrete of the driveway. 

“How did you know I was going to, you know,” Kenma asks sheepishly, and Bokuto gives him a soft smile.

”We care more than you think.”

He’s almost positive telling them they have been living a loop is a horrible idea. It’s best to keep it simple. 

“I love you,” Kenma mutters. 

“We know,” Kuroo says, almost teasingly. 

Kenma gives him a dirty look, and Akaashi rolls his eyes.

”What’s the point of this?” Akaashi mutters.

Bokuto looks into the eyes he loves so much, and smiles.

”The point is we love you both too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we gooooo

**Author's Note:**

> leave comments and kudos!


End file.
